The Struggle is Real

Implant Baby, Implant!!

Today is progesterone day! 🤣 is that really a day? I guess it is when you are walking the fine line of the two week wait. Progesterone level was 11…shows I ovulated RMA said. For your education: ovulation is the release of an egg from one of two of the ovaries. Once that egg is released the corpus luteum (a temporary endocrine structure in the ovaries) forms and begins producing progesterone. Progesterone helps to prepare the body for pregnancy by creating a good environment for implantation. Here’s to being a nerd…I build one question in my head and it leads to a “google search” which then leads to a reputable source search (often scholarly journals) which then leads to another question and so on and so fourth…as I always say “Squirrel!” because I cant keep my attention on one thing for the life of me. Shit I have been trying to write a lousy 3 page paper for the last 4 hours and havent gotten any further than the damn headings. In addition to trying to keep myself busy busy busy until July 12 I also am extremely thankful my wife is keeping me busy too 😉 hubba hubba. 🤣 I know they all say “be patient” but hell I am literally talking to God, my body; specifically my uterus “implant please!” We are hoping that a baby blastocyte was created and will grab on to my uterus and hold on for dear life for 9 months! They also recommend waiting the whole two weeks to pee on a stick (see that photo thats from the trigger shot up until today – once it all fades out I will be searching for it to rebrighten to signify future baby in the making! But I won’t get ecstatic until the Beta comes back on July 12! But for now i shall relax in the bathtub (which is allowed several days after IUI, in the beginning it was not recommended because they shove a catheter with foreign cells up into the uterus) with my bubbles & lavender and cool my jets so I can write two papers, join my wife for some Machelle Ash time 😇 and head back to work for the next two day. Remember guys we accept all forms of positiveness; prayers, positive energy, baby dust and whatever else you can do! Let the journey continue…

Progesterone check tomorrow 👍

You gotta be silly to get through life! I think we’ve got that covered!

Had no idea my mind would want to tell my body to work with me. I mean…basically asking for its cooperation. I’m feelin good but afraid to feel “too good.” Day three of 12 hour shifts…and I stayed on my feet for 10,000 steps yesterday. Damn! Did you know the more you walk the more blood flow to your uterus for implantation. Then ill be movin and groovin! But fuck scared to do certain things. Lifting up patients in the bed I’m good with…hell I’m not friggin crippled but pushing a big ass bed to another unit kind of got me a but uneasy. I did it but not without concern. Im sure these concerns also don’t go away with pregnancy and my sister says “get ready for 18+ years.” Im game for it all and I know my babygirl is too! I didn’t write yesterday because shit work kicked my ass…I was pooped! But yesterday I had bleeding (maybe a little more than spotting) and crampage at my bikini line (yeah the chubby girl has a bikini line 🤣). The internet (yeah I know shush up), my sister (a labor and delivery nurse) and my buddies on a facebook IUI support group all say its normal. Not necessarily from implantation but maybe the catheter for IUI? But tomorrow is the day we get my progesterone checked. Not really completely sure what that indicates but I’ll definitely share more on that. Going strong and baby dancin all around!!

DPO1 Don’t Vomit 🤢 in the Commode

DPO1 (Day Post Ovulation) hell it took me long enough to figure that out I figured I’d share it with you). Other than nausea and crying like a baby while watching Fatherhood on netflix I’m doing okay. I just saw a beautiful rainbow 🌈 on my way home from work I figure thats a good omen right? And this nausea (from the trigger shot I am assuming) is insane. Im a nurse and poop 💩 of all sorts doesnt get to me…but gagging and almost puking 🤢 into a commode is bad! Sputum never gets me…but a big ass lugey made me dry heave hardcore. Vomit is my thing…someone starts vomiting 🤮 I run for the zofran before I see their vomit and join the fun! But with my older & younger sister suffering from hyperemesis gravida (severe nausea) and needed fluids intravenously a couple times…I hope to hell that isn’t altered by 🧬 genetics. I hate nausea but I’ve dealt with alot of it having had gastric bypass (reflux messes with that hardcore). But enough with the boredom… DPO1 pretty uneventful just “hopin and prayin and wishin” (yes random songs ask Machelle 🤣) that this IUI will be successful!

Yes I’m the girl that will watch trigger shot leave my system!

Do we have a baby yet?

Yeah ok…I wish…The wait begins…well I guess it began at 7am when they used a speculum to insert spluge (again, Machelle’s word people) into my uterus! Im a nurse im all about anatomical words…a penis is not a ding ding (as Matthew calls it). But…18 million sperm! Thats a go! They recommend greater than 9 million. But Don’t you fret my pet I already peed on a stick to see if the HCG is getting out of my system …in hopes it will regain darkness to indicate pregnancy. It’s still going strong…just like one of those swimmers better do right into an egg! I gotta say amen to the women that have constant injections of pregnyl…I’m not a wuss at all and it didn’t hurt…but the red ass welt that is itching hardcore sucks. But hell I’d do anything for our baby even if it means sucky ass pain, uncomfortableness and anything else that may hit. 1 day down…another 13 to go. Lets see how a work day Post IUI goes tomorrow woot woot! We got this shit! #babygranerinthemaking #mamaknowsbest #2WW #machellenash #LGBTQfertilityissues

The tools used for this gig! What fun, right?!

Babytime!

Today is the day! Only a matter of waking up and 3:45am in order to have the spluge aka sperm thawed. Pom Pomegranate juice drinking in order to increase blood flow to the uterus and promote healthy uterine lining for implantation. Apparently adding some pineapple core can help an embryo implant into the uterus. Ill take all the help we can get! McDonalds french fries is another people say to eat…why? Beats the hell out of me…an old wives tale but best answer I found was the high salt content helps with fertilization because it prompts your body to “soak up” extra fluids. Weird, and I doubt thats even a thing. But we’ll try anything to increase our odds! And another…orgasm. I could definitely get on board with this but my concern is “spluge” coming out. Yeah, dumbest thing I think I’ve ever said but again, no-filter and an open book! Ill have to continue my research on that lol. And of course…lucky socks! Mine says “think positive” with the pregnancy lines from a test in blue & pink. Can’t forget luck in addition to assisting the body with random old wives tales or “science related” ideas. But take this all with a grain of salt I haven’t 100% researched it. Our cool “Graner baby making” shirts are moreover to commemorate the event. Ha, I even peed on an HCG stick to see the bright line (shows after trigger shot) to start a watching it fade (as the pregnyl dissipates in the body) and hopefully brighten back up to indicate we are preggers. My mother n law even sound super excited, she wants the positive pregnancy test picture at the 14Days post IUI. I guess we all are going hardcore positive? Hell cuddlebug (Matthew our 4 year old grandson – Yea, grandson Machelle has 3 older children and is gonna start all over with me ❤️) even tells us he will change diapers! We will put him on diaper Doodie 🤣. All this positive thinking in hopes that our dreams will come to fruition. I thought about not divulging our experience but I want people to know how hard it can be and what LBGTQ people have to go through in order to create a baby. It’s definitely not an easy feat but I wouldn’t wanna do it with anyone else but my babygirl, Machelle.

Oh Baby!

Tomorrow is the day. Machelle & I finally get our chance. Pomegranate juice in hand, pineapple core to be eaten for the next 5 days, Thinkin’ positive with my socks and reppin our Baby making shirts (made by http://www.PhoenixCrafthaven.com ) The excitement is building but the fear is there too. Two weeks we gotta wait to pee on a stick? Machelle says that’s not gonna happen…and shes probably 100% right! I am hoping & praying it works! #babydust #babymakin #Granerbabyinthemaking)

Trigger Trigger!

I contemplated whether to share our journey as with fertility you do not know if you will have success. I foresee this journey to be an unknown. The fertility tests came out wonderful. Even though I am a damn “Geriatric Pregnancy” (35 years older)…fuck I just turned 35, right? Fallopian tubes are patent, AMH is great, making good eggs…so thats a go. The you get to find the friggin money to make your dreams come true (buying the spluge, as my wife calls it). As much as I wish my wife could knock me up…biology says thats not possible (give it time we’ll figure it out). The letrozole was taken and today the trigger shot, pregynl was given by my amazing wife (who I think was more afraid to hurt me) and my grandson who looked more gung ho to stab me than ever. Two 18mm follicles, an 11mm and a thick endometrium (15). So now two days from today we inseminate (IUI) and pray and hope and put mad positive energy & baby dust into the universe! Then the dreaded TWW (two week wait) until we know if it took or not. I know I am hoping IUI will be a win but I know the statistics are low on that. So heres a pic of the day of the trigger shot. Lets keep our fingers crossed #babygranerinthemaking #machelle&Ashbabyjourney